Huge thanks to MailOnline for keeping us updated on Christian Eriksen's love life. We felt empty without it.
'Tottenham's Danish star Christian Eriksen may not have found the net since January, but the midfielder still knows how to score when the opportunity presents itself,' they begin. Apparently we're in a film called 'Carry On Spurs'.
'The Spurs midfielder was spotted smooching with stunning girlfriend Sabrina Kvist Jensen in central London as he enjoyed a night off. The lovestruck couple, who have been together almost three years, couldn't keep their hands, or lips, off each other as they walked through Soho.'
You'll be pleased to know that the previous paragraph comes directly before two images of the couple, one of which is shown above. Looks like they managed to keep their 'hands, and lips' off each other for at least half the number of times they were photographed.
Still, we live in a world where 'man kisses girlfriend' is a story. Yay.
Do The Hippy Hippy Crack
We're not saying that MailOnline are giddy at being leaked the 'latest' (last September) pictures of Raheem Sterling and Liverpool teammate Jordon Ibe smoking shisha, but these are the following headlines from the Liverpool page of their website:
'After Raheem Sterling was pictured with a shisha pipe... five other football stars involved in off the field controversy.'
'Raheem Sterling pictured AGAIN with a shisha pipe... this time with Liverpool team-mate Jordon Ibe in fresh embarrassment.'
'Raheem Sterling must change his ways or a big move will be just a pipedream.' Arf.
'Manchester City planning mega-bid to sign Liverpool star Raheem Sterling.'
'Raheem Sterling to escape punishment for drug use but Liverpool star's bad behaviour has turned off potential suitors.' Note the pointed use of 'drug use'
'Arsenal have doubts over signing Liverpool star Raheem Sterling after laughing gas and shisha controversies alert club hierarchy.'
'Raheem Sterling filmed inhaling laughing gas just days after pictures show Liverpool star smoking shisha pipe.'
Seven stories, all last updated between 6pm on Tuesday and 10am Wednesday.
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